Monday, June 11, 2012
June 11, 2012 It has been almost one month since my last entry. I have been dedicating my time and energy to my website: Sammy's Angel Miracle Network since receiving my cancer free clean bill of health. So, it is with much sadness that I end this blog today. During my illness the prayers sent to me by the readers of this blog were overwhelming. Without a doubt, I am hear today and healthy because the Lord heard each and every prayer, and gave me the miracle I asked for. My blog has had followers all over the world including: Russia, India, Panama, Germany, and France. I thank each and everyone of you. You can keep up with the latest cancer research and other information at: SAMMY'S ANGELS MIRACLE NETWORK. Again, many thanks to all of the followers of my blog. You are all in my prayers. SIGNING OFF, Sammy
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
It is indeed a desirable thing to be well-descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors. Plutarch
May 15, 2012 It has been almost a week since I last posted an entry on this blog. I have been busy still working on my new website (Sammy's Angels Miracle Network), working in the garden, and working around the house on small projects. I have also gone to the movies and window shopping a local antique shops. Since my cancer cure after surgery on April 3, 2012 I have been experiencing a renewed sense of self and purpose. I have also been researching my ancestory on my father's side of the family. My father's father and mother came from Eastern Europe (Poland)in 1907 and 1910. They met at Coney Island in New York. I know a great deal about my grandmother's family but almost nothing about my grandfather's family. I would like to travel to Poland one day to meet any remaining family and learn more about my grandfather and his family. Records of my grandfather and grandmother entering America can be found at Ancestory.com. The records show the date, time, ship, and port of departure for each of them. Poland is the country listed as the place where they were came from when they came to this country. However, I do not know anything about where in Poland each of them were born and raised. So, I have been doing research to find out this information and any other information that will help me learn more about my roots. I have often wondered if and to what extent, World War II had on the family members who did not choose to immigrate to America. Did any of them survive the war? Were any of them killed or imprisoned in a concentration camp when the Nazi's invaded Poland? Were any of them imprisoned in the Warsaw Ghetto? What is the remaining family like now? Who are they? What are their professions? So many questions. After my grandparents were married in New Jersey, they moved to a small coal mining town in Pennsylvania. My grandfather worked in the mines around Port Carbon and Minersville. Rumor has it he died of the Black Lung. Over the years, no one ever talked about the old country or any relatives who might have been living there. No one ever talked about my grandfather or his family. I had three aunts and seven uncles yet not one of them ever metioned having any family in Poland. So, my quest continues to find out information on my own. Hopefully, one day, I will visit Poland and find answers to my questions, or maybe find a few relatives. Sammy's Angels Miracle Network is now on line accepting donations. Click the link that will take you to this website from this blog to see what we have going on right now.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
May 4-9, 2012 Sammy's Angels Miracle Network is now on line at: sammysangelsmiraclenetwork.org This is a website dedicated to the collection of donations to be given to people with a life altering illness, who do not have medical insurance, or who do not have full coverage medical insurance, and have medical and/or household related bills they cannot pay. Donations will go to individuals, couples,or families to help pay medical bills, household bills, buy food and clothing, and pay for child or pet care during their illness. Currently, we have a single, unemployed woman with cancer associated medical bills that total approximately $3,000.00. We are in need of donations in ANY AMOUNT to help her pay these bills. We are also looking for individuals, couples, or families who need financial assistance with bills due to a life altering illness that has effected their financial situation. If you know of any one who can use our assistance, please go to our website: sammysangelsmiraclenetwork.org Provide us with their contact information. We will contact them to find out how we may assist them with their medical related bills. DONATE NOW safely on line with our secure PayPal account, or with a credit card. Any doantion amount is greatly needed. I have been working on this website for some time now. The website went live on the internet today. It has been a dream of mine since my own cancer diagnosis to start this website. I know there are many people who do not have the financial means to deal with a life altering illness, pay medical bills, pay household bills, feed their children, and pay for child or pet care during surgery and/or treatment. I am hoping to raise enough donations through this website to help some of those people pay some of their bills. You can help. Check out our website and make a donation today. sammysangelsmiraclenetwork.org
Thursday, May 3, 2012
For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you because I have many people in this city. Act 18:10
May 2-4, 2012 Several years ago, I had my phone number changed because of all the calls I was getting (for another person) from creditors. The calls were not for me but for several other people who apparently had my phone number before the phone company assigned it to me. The calls were coming in at all hours of the day and night. Eventually, I turned the ringer off so I could get some sleep. After a while, I decided to get a new phone number at a cost of $30.00. My new phone number was just as bad as the old number. Creditors stated to call for other people I did not know. I did not answer any of the calls because they were not for me. Creditors do not listen to anyone. If you tell them the truth, that you are not the person they are looking for, they get worse. Their calls increase and their messages clog your mail box. How many of you are getting calls from collectors for other people? I know there are a lot of people across the United States who are being harassed by these people on a daily basis. Today, I decided to do something about the calls. Below are a few of the phone numbers of collectors who call and harass me on a daily basis and have for years: Asset Acceptance 301-223-0039 Asset Acceptance 410-881-5363 This company has been calling me for years asking for a Barbara Peterson, when the phone number is clearly listed in my name. I am not Barbara Peterson, nor do I know a Barbara Peterson. I wonder how much these collectors get paid to harass Americans on a daily basis? I also wonder what is our government doing to stop the harassment? The same company has also used local phone numbers to get me to answer my phone when they call. If I do not recognize the phone number on my caller ID, I do not pick up the phone. I listen for the message. Below are a few of these local numbers: 512-843-8802 512-377-9034 Something must be done about these about these creditors who harass Americans for years. I for one am tired of not being able to answer my phone because of the rude calls, or being awoken in the middle of the night to answer a cll that is not for me, or having a phone message box full of calls from creditors looking for people who no longer have the telephone number I now have. I am asking all of you who are also receiving calls from creditors looking for people that you do not know, to go to a social media (Facebook) and start posting the company names phone numbers of these rude, misguided creditors. For so long, calls from creditor have been considered a sign of a character flaw judging honest, hardworking people as unfit. In these poor economic times our country is going through now, many people cannot pay their bills. Many people do not have jobs, and unemployment does not pay all of the bills. Keeping the family fed, clothed, and a roof over their heads takes priority. Go to Facebook and post the phone numbers of harassing creditors. They need to be stopped immediately. Let’s expose they creditors for whom and what they are. Let’s shed some light on how they are getting away with the harassment. For too long, people have been afraid to speak up against these creditors out of fear of retaliation. Do not be afraid any more. A united front to stop them is needed to let them know they can no longer hold us hostage with our own phone.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children. Proverbs 17:6
April 29, 30 2012 The month of April is over. March and April of this year have gone by so quickly. Sunday was another beautiful day in Austin. I spent my day sitting on the patio in the cool morning, working in the yard, and taking it easy. I am a thinking person. Always in my head processing new information, reprocessing old information, and spending a lot of time analyzing my own life, especially the past. Even at my age now, I am still realizing the ever lasting effect certain events from my childhood still have on me in my adult life. All throughout my life I have struggled with an identity crisis, anxiety, depression, and self-doubt. I use to think there was something really wrong with me because of my lack of coping skills in certain situations, as well as my fear of making mistakes. Over the years, however, I have come to learn the origin of these feelings and wonder what life could have been like if I was not subjected to them. The origins I speak of have to do with the way I was parented. My parents did the best they could in raising my brothers and me. Their own coping skills were strained at best, especially my father. He was anxiety ridden almost all of his life. I suspect his anxiety stemmed from the demands his father put on him. From stories I have been told about my father growing up under the iron fist of his father, my father was never good enough or smart enough to measure up to his father’s standards. Growing up, I too could never measure up to my father’s standards. To him, I was incompetent at everything. If I made a mistake he severely scolded me, not just once for the same thing but years later he was still bringing up my mistakes made years before. I could never do anything right. He saw me as a weak person who could be easily threatened and manipulated. One thing he didn’t understand was that I was a child. I didn’t know a lot as a child because no one ever taught me anything. I was expected to know everything at an early age. Not knowing then, that I had to be taught how to do things in life, I began to see myself as an incompetent person who would never measure up to being as good as anyone else. This caused me great anxiety and depression at an early age. I entered school already feeling like a failure at the age of five. I became extremely self-conscious. I was afraid to make a move or do anything independent of my mother (who protected me) because I felt I would fail at anything I tried. My father’s lack of faith in my abilities, created my lack of faith in myself. His sever judgment of me on compounded matters worse. I fell short of his every expectation, as he had predicted. As a teacher, I saw the same behavior in my students who came from backgrounds similar to mine. I really felt for these kids. I went through school, struggling with almost every subject. School itself was anxiety provoking for me. I was always on edge in school, fearing the teacher would ask me a question I could not answer. Reading and math was a struggle for me. I persevered and graduated from high school and eventually graduate school. My father never acknowledged my accomplishments as an adult. Eventually, I was able to accept that he never would acknowledge any success I would experience and was able to move on with my life learning to believe in myself. One of the most important things parents can give their children is the ability to believe in themselves no matter what their struggles in life. Parents are our children’s first teachers. If we give our children the message they are failures with us, they may never be successful. If they do become successful it will not be without a high price wrought with anxiety, depression, and a life lion struggle to feel as good as everyone else. The next time you become upset with your children, put yourself in their place before you talk to them. Think about how you wanted to be talked to as a child before unleashing your anger on them. Talk to them in a way that will get the message across without making character judgment statements. A child may see to survive your attempted character assassination on the outside but on the inside you are slowly killing them. .
Saturday, April 28, 2012
April 26-28, 2012 Several years ago, I started observing Lent. Each year I would give up something I thought I couldn’t live without. This year I gave up drinking coffee, watching television, and playing the lottery. When I am not watching television, I find myself more interested in reading. For forty-days, I read an average of 1-2 books per day depending on the length of the book. I always included books on spirituality. I find strength and inspiration in reading these books. I have a library filled with them. This year was no exception, especially in light of my cancer diagnosis. My favorite books are about messages people get from friends and family members who have died. I also like books about people who have “died” on the operating table or in an accident, experienced going to heaven and meeting Jesus only to return to tell their story to others. My faith grew stronger by reading these books. When I was growing up, I thought death meant never seeing your friends or family members again. I had doubts about whether heaven was real or not. I wasn’t even sure that God existed. Over the years, I came to learn that all of my doubts were unfounded. During my cancer trial, I believed without a shadow of a doubt that not only was God real but so was Jesus and heaven. I know Jesus heard my every prayer, and every prayer of all the people who prayed for me when I was going through my cancer ordeal. Jesus intervened on my behalf to His Father who granted me the miracle of catching the cancer in time and removing it from my body. God’s test of my faith in the form of a cancer trial was long overdue. He has been patient enough with me in my life but knew I was in a rut at the crossroads of my life. I was in transition in my professional life. I did not want to stay in teaching even thought I loved the kids. The stress and pressure from the school administration regarding testing the kids to death was something to which I no longer wanted to subject myself. I left teaching to try to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. God seemed to be telling me that He needed me to serve Him in a more proactive way. I wasn’t sure what God wanted me to do exactly but I knew it involved leading people to Jesus. As I pondered how I might do this, it occurred to me that writing my blog and having people read my blog was the first step in leading people to God. Writing this blog has been a wonderful experience, one I intend to keep up with for a long time. My faith is stronger than ever. Once I turned to God, I have never experienced a moment of being lonely or abandoned. God has always been in my life, as He has always been in yours. I grew up believing I was the one in control of my life. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I was never in control of my life. God was always there guiding me, loving me, and protecting me. He does the same for you, too. My belief in God was strained, almost non-existent, growing up in a household where the word of the Lord was never shared among family members. We all went to church together because we were forced to go. But, going to church had little meaning for me. My family didn’t know anyone at the church, even though we attended for years. We were never active in any church activities. Looking back, we only attended church to fulfill our weekly religious obligations. Attending church now is quite different for me. I attend a church community that is more like a family. I know many people, attend because I love going, and attend church activities that bring us together as a church community. Going to church now is like visiting your favorite relatives every week. I also attend adult Sunday school classes. The Bible has so much I can learn. I am learning more now than I did in Sunday school classes growing up. It is nice to see adults seeking the word of the Lord and wanting to share this word with others. The children who attend are also learning a great deal from their Sunday school classes. Their behavior reflects what they have been taught. I have learned over the years that if you want your own children to accept, love, and want to learn everything they can about God, parents must set an example of how the Lord wants them to live. Children tend to copy the behaviors of their parents in their early years. What they learn will stay with them throughout their lives. If their parents are giving them the message, “Do as I say, not as I do” they are going to grow up confused, doubtful, and not committed to believing in anything. As parents, the children need to be shown something in which to believe. If you don’t attend church but believe in God, let your children know how you feel. Explain to them why you choose not to attend church. You can still teach them about your God. Not everybody has to attend church. You can show your love of the Lord by living by his word and teaching your children how to live by his word. Set an example of kind, patient, understanding, and non-judgmental, loving parents. Show them patience when they make mistakes or make you angry. Tell them that you are upset with the decision they made but you still love. Show them how to do things the right way. Don’t expect them to just know what to do. Children must be taught in a loving, caring, and forgiving manner. Sure they are going to try your patience, get on your last nerve, and drive you crazy. Just remember that they are in a learning state as they grow up. You can’t prevent them from making mistakes, but you can give them the tools to correct mistakes, to keep trying, to never lose faith, and to believe in themselves as you have shown how much you believe in them. Give them a reason to believe in God by teaching them to trust in you as their parents who live by the word of the Lord. Give them a reason to believe in the word of the Lord by letting them see His word reflected in your behavior. Most importantly, give them a reason to believe in themselves. Each generation of your family begins with you. Give them a reason to carry on the family tradition.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
April 25, 2012 Today I worked on Sammy’s Angel Miracle Network. The setup of the website is going well. I hope to have it on line by late next week. I am looking forward to raising donations and distributing them. I have designed a special T-shirt for the website. For donations of $25.00 or more, free T-shirt will be given. When you make your donation on our secure PayPal donation site, you can specify the size of the T-shirt. T-shirts are 100% cotton, preshrunk. All the donations will go towards the bills of individuals or families we will spotlight on our website. If you know of anyone in need of financial assistance during their life altering illness, please refer them to our website or send in information about them yourself. We will make contact with them to see how we might be able to help. I read an article in the Austin American Statesman about a local school district who believes that too much emphasis has been put on testing and not enough on teaching. You know, the way it used to be before No Child Left Behind (NCLB) changed the course of learning in America. Now with the impending deadline for reaching the goal of 100% of all children in the United States expected to pass state testing, many school districts will fall short of this goal. I believe we need to have standards set to assist students in learning, not testing. Our curriculum could use an overhaul with more attention paid to content subject matter and practical application in real life simulated situations. It seems to me that NCLB discriminates against special education students because it does not take into account the special learning needs of this student population. Special education was designed to offer a special learning environment to assist students with special needs by offering a modified curriculum with grade level content. This content would be taught using the identified the best learning modality of each student. Testing could be designed to test those skills on the students’ level of learning with set goals for future progress as goals are accomplished. When I started school, special education did not exist. You had two general career paths: college or the work force. Joining a military branch was also an option but not one promoted by many schools. At the time you didn’t need a high school diploma to sign up for the military. Now, they require at least a GED. Special education services have come a long way since its inception in1975 with the passing of House Bill 19141. That is until the signing of NCLB. Now school districts across the country are scrambling to apply for waivers from having to enforce NCLB. They will still be held accountable for student learning and progress but not under the gun of NCLB. I am hoping this will ease the stress placed on teachers who have been pressured to produce passing student test scores or lose their jobs. My most memorable year in school was during the 1963-1964 school year. I was attending an elementary school in west Baltimore. My 3rd. grade teacher had promoted me to a “high performing” 4th grade class because of the work I did for her in the 3rd. grade. I may have been successful that year but a series of events affected my behavior and attention, causing me to fail that grade. President John Kennedy was assassinated in November 1963. The whole country was affected by his death. My family had moved to the neighborhood surrounding the school after a series of family dramas that had a profound effect on my life. A year before, my mother and father had separated twice. My mother, brothers, and I lived in two different homes after my mother left my father. First we had an apartment. Then, they got back together. We all moved to a house but my father’s behavior did not changed even though he swore it would. My parents continued to fight and argue. Eventually, they separated again, living in the same house but avoiding one another. My father kept drinking, making our lives miserable at every opportunity. He succeeded in throwing my brother Tom out of the house. We had very little to eat. The one Christmas we had in that house was a lean and sad holiday. The only money my mother had coming in was a Social Security check for my brothers from her first husband’s death. Finally, my parents got back together again. My brother David, mother, father, and I moved to west Baltimore, leaving my brother Tom to fend for himself. I hardly ever saw him again after that. Several years later our father allowed him to come visit us. He was married by then. Things started getting better with his first son in 1965. Our daily lives were always in turmoil. That’s the way it is living with a mentally ill individual who refuses to take medication or go to therapy. Their lives are always in turmoil. So in turn, those closest to them are immediately affected. Weekends were the worse. My father was able to keep his act together during the week because he worked Monday through Friday. When Friday night came around, he was drunk before he came home from work. He would stop at a bar on the way home to drink. We lived in terror not knowing what to expect from him when he did come home. He came in to the house loud and verbally abusive, dredging up family problems from the past blaming my mother for the problems. He never gave us a minute of peace all weekend. We were always on edge. Nights were the hardest. He would continue to drink long after we would go to bed. Then, without warning, he would turn all of the lights on in the house, and wake us up to dredge up more past family problems, keeping us awake until well into the early morning hours. When the school week started on Monday, I was tired and a nervous wreck. I couldn’t focus on my work. The only attention I received at home was negative, so I began to act out in school for attention. I was disruptive throughout my 4th grade year (the first one), and learned very little. I repeated the 4th grade because of this. I fell behind academically in every grade after that. My first 4th grade teacher did not help me at all. She had no tolerance for behavior problems and seemed happy to fail me. My only concern was how my family would react. When I took my report card home at the end of the school year and they found out I had to repeat the 4th grade, no one said anything to me at all. This helped me cope more with failing. I kept it to myself and never told anyone else in the neighborhood. I knew they would find out at the beginning of the next school year. Mrs. Jordon was my second 4th grade teacher. She was different from the first 4th grade teacher. Mrs. Jordon cared about me. She treated me much better than the teacher the year before. I felt valued in her classroom. I actually learned something that year, and I was the only student with perfect attendance in her classroom. Having someone care for you and respect you as a child, makes all the difference in the world in your success. Her classroom became a safe place for me after long weekends of listening to my father verbally abuse me. I looked forward to going to her class every day. Until that school year, I was treated like a flunky, not very bright, always distracted, shy, quiet, not a thinking person. But it is hard to be attentive, cognitively aware, and outgoing when you are a nervous, anxious, and depressed child. I was always in survival mode. For those people who still wonder why I moved half way across the country to live, I hope the answer is becoming a little more clear. I had to get away. I saw no future in a city where bad memories lingered around every corner. Moving to Texas gave me a second chance to start my life over again.